Goals

It seems like most of my goals lately are really long term so they are hard to see the results at least for awhile. Sometimes I get frustrated feeling like I never really finish anything, because everything in my life is so ongoing and doesn't have an end. That's why I'm so excited that this weekend I was able to reach a goal that I've had all summer - which was to run a half marathon!! I kept wanting to sign up for a race, but it was really hard for me to find time to increase my mileage enough.  My kiddos haven't been the best sleepers this summer and it wasn't until about 3 weeks ago when I felt like I was consistently getting decent sleep for the first time since before I was pregnant with Trevor. Before that I would have a good week with running, but then a few awful weeks when I was exhausted from being up a lot at night and I just couldn't get past 5 miles.  Recently I increased to 7 and then to 9 miles, and then I got a nasty cold for the last two weeks and I came really close to giving up on my goal since it's getting cold here. Luckily though, I have a supportive husband who knew how important this was to me and he gave me a little pep talk. We were going down to Utah for the weekend so I decided to just map out my own 13.1 mile course and give it a try. 

It ended up being the perfect setting because my cute family made such a big deal of it and cheered me on, and because I loved running down around BYU where I spent so many years of my life. I did a 10 mile loop down to Provo and back to my parent's house. Then my awesome brother Ty joined me for the last 3.3 miles when I was really feeling tired (Paul was going to come too but that morning he woke up with the awful cold that the kids and I have been fighting for 2 1/2 weeks). My parents also walked around our 3 mile portion and cheered for us at several parts. It made all the difference to have someone there to chat with to distract from the throbbing in my knee and hip. We were definitely going pretty slow by the end, but somehow we finished with smiles on our faces and a great feeling of accomplishment. 

The whole group of supporters:

 My family's encouragement and support gave me the motivation to push through the pain and I felt so excited and great for most of the run. I just love the feeling of freedom I get when I run on such a beautiful morning and feel like I actually am able to notice everything around me instead of rushing by like I normally do in life. Running is also my thinking time- it helps me clear my head and think through anything that has been bothering me lately.

I especially enjoyed this long run because I ran by some many places that have played a key role in my life and it was so nice to spend a few hours just reflecting on the six years I spent living by BYU and all that went on there. Here are some of the memories I had (It may get long...):


-I passed different apartment buildings and houses where I spent lots of time when I was dating someone, and I smiled as I remembered how many times I felt my heart break and just knew that I would never recover, and yet now my life is so much better than I ever could have imagined. It's interesting how we go through so many phases in life that often feel so overwhelming and like it's the end of the world, but in a relatively short time our life changes so completely.

-The Terrace where I lived for 4 years and met some of my greatest friends is now called the Atrium. I can't even begin to write all of my memories from there- it was such a great time filled with roommate brownies, dancing, late night Dennys runs, movies & Alias sessions, color-coordinated parties, Ok go practices, late night chats, Disneyland trip, cruise, and a little bit of studying. We had such a close group of friends and I loved the way we supported each other and just loved being together, no matter what the activity.

-I ran part of the 8 mile course that Paul ran with me when we first knew each other and it was fun to review the years of friendship, then dating, then engagement and finally marriage. He was definitely patient through those years and continues to be.

-I ran by the hospital where my Aunt and second mother spent the last few weeks of her life. I remembered the pain of visiting her every day and watching her decline, and then feeling the most emotional pain I've ever experienced as I watched her sons say goodbye, especially her youngest two who desperately just wanted to stay with their mother. Reflecting on the years since then, my heart broke again as I thought of the challenges that my cousins have faced because they have to struggle thru this life without their amazing mother.

-A few blocks away from the course I ran was the building where I discovered my second passion after running: country dancing. I spent hours there and loved the feeling of twirling around doing the pretzel, being thrown into the air with the candlestick, or waltzing the night away. My dancing time was such a fun escape for me and I converted so many friends to become regulars as well. Paul and I spent a lot of time dancing when we were dating and I really miss that setting to relax and laugh together.

-I passed the bus stop where I waited every morning to start my long commute to work. I received great experience at Ernst & Young, but it was a hard 2 1/2 years. I remembered the night before Thanksgiving when the ride home took 4 hours because of a snow storm and I just wanted to be with Paul. I also thought of sprinting the 3/4 mile thru the scary part of town to the bus stop in Salt Lake only to watch the last bus pull away. My cell phone was dead so I had to walk back to work to call Paul who had been planning on meeting me to go to the temple. He drove right up to get me and cheered me up by making it a date night in SLC. There were a few other nights during busy season when I worked up until the last Trax left and didn't realize until I got to the Trax station in Sandy that there were no more express buses so I was stranded 40 minutes from home at 11 pm. I called my parents, sobbing of course, and they jumped in the car to get me as I waited in the freezing wind and prayed that they scary looking men would ignore me. The last work memory I had was of my longest day of work when I was working on a really big and complicated return. I worked for 20 hours straight, left the office at 4 am to drive 45 minutes home, and slept for about an hour so I could be back at work by 7:30. I shed so many tears over the stresses of that job and yet I really came to enjoy the people I worked with so it was hard to say goodbye when we moved to Idaho.

-One of my favorite memories was of living with Jeanne for a year when she was working at Utah Valley hospital before she met Kevin. We LOVED being roommates and getting to hang out every day, and we dream of someday living close again as we raise our families. I look forward to our daily chats even though there is always at least one child screaming and most of the time we're talking to our kids instead of to each other.


I've had such a great life and am grateful for all of the experiences that have made me who I am today. I love this new chapter in my life as we focus on our little family and try to figure out what we are supposed to be doing.